10 Reasons not to like Thanksgiving

10.  The food is weird, Victorian English stuff.
9.  There is perfectly good football on tv.
8.  The food induced coma right before the biggest shopping day.
7.  Insanely busy travel, combined with unpredictable weather.
6.  Unless you're white, why would you like it?

5.  Biggest declaration between the have and have-nots.
4.  Too many volunteers on one day, not enough the other 364 days of the year.

3.  Someone always gets too drunk.
2.  Someone always gets too bitchy.

1.  The gluttony of Americans.