There's an app for that: sex positions

Warning:  randy monologue

Scrolling through the plethora of apps available on my smartphone, I run across one titled sex positions.  Hmm.  I love my ESPN scoreboard, and have played quite a few rounds with those angry little birds.  But sex positions...

I appreciate the versatility of applications to make my day immature and entertaining run smoothly.  I value the availability of information at my fingertips to solve everyday problems and questions.  I rely on the apps that help me organize and schedule my day.  I just don't think an app describing, yes this is not a typo, 150 sex positions is something I need on my phone.

What exactly would be the occasion to use this app?  Hang on honey, I think there are a few ideas in my phone?  Or is this a new technological pick up line?  Hey baby, check out these stick figures on my phone...

Upon reviewing this app, I would also like to clarify that, as I expected, there are not truly 150 positions.  Um.  I don't have a canoe, nor do I consider that a 'position.'  Nor do I think water based activities and solo endeavors should count.

While this app provided interesting reading and a little brainstorming, I don't think I will be including my phone in my personal activities.

Of course, it is in my phone... I may have to try out the pick up line with sketch accompaniment.

Brutal

I guess I'm happy to report my son learned some valuable lessons in life today.  Sometimes you don't win because, well, you should have played harder. Sometimes you are just off, and the harder you try to recover, the more mistakes you make.  Sometimes, the other team is better and there is nothing you can do about it.

D's game was brutal.  It wasn't a complete blow out and there were some good plays.  They tried passing plays.  They drove the ball.  They had stalls in the red zone.

We didn't anticipate they'd win this game.  They lost 0-21.  I've seen worse.  And for the record, I'm pretty sure the score was actually 0-20.  Seriously, can these people please take a refresher course!  There was a bad funk in the air, and the coaches and players had a drooped shoulder, defeated look early on. 

But second half....
Second half, something happened.  The boys knew they wouldn't win, but they brought their game.  Their team mentality snapped back.  They didn't gain many yards, but they also didn't give many.  They didn't score, but neither did the other team  In the second half, they shut them out.  They didn't have victory, but on the last drive, one of our players delivered a fabulous hit that would leave the other player in pain.  If you can't beat them, at least beat the crap out of them, right!?

Near the end of this hard lesson game, a group of our players turned their attention to the crowd.  With arms pumping upward, in a slow, amassing yell, the team led the stands into several rounds of "Mustang Power." They were about to lose this game, but the Mustang boys were cheering themselves, and inviting us into their story.  Ahh... and football is such a wonderful, unfolding story.

Best moment of the game.

Things I love #3

Remember your childhood... every experience new, with the amplified angst of emotions.

Remember your first kiss?  And frankly, the first kiss with every new person after that.

I'm happy being an adult, making my own choices, staying up as late as I want.  But the one thing I miss is those moments... sweet first kiss moments.

The anticipation and excitement.  The fear of hearing the sound of a record needle screeching.  The longing for a warmth that flutters from your heart and warms your toes.

And youth brings one more appealing thing to the table... location.  Adults can plan out the details to perfection for every moment in life.  Youthful stolen moments don't have this luxury.  They can happen anytime, anywhere.  The front porch, the back seat of a car, at the Octoberfest. 

Hang on to those memories...

Things I love #2

If you ask my kids what their mom's favorite food is, they will respond :  things with chili on it.

To clarify, I also enjoy cheese and sour cream.

Nothing is better than basically any food a carefully selected, delectable bite covered in melted cheese, oozing with the mix of melty, separating sour cream and warm spicy chili.

For the record, best food to top with this ambrosia that speaks to my soul:
Tator tots, of course!  FYI... they're called totchos!

Presenting the class of 1991

I attended my 20 year reunion this summer.  The best friend flew up because she was a big ol' nerd like me I knew I'd enjoy it more with her.  Facebook posts and twitter tweets always share the passing comment... went to my reunion!  Here's what they aren't telling you...

1.  Your nerves will transport you back to the insecurities of times forgotten.  When the husband dropped us off, I actually knocked on the car window and said "I don't want to go."  This will pass... eventually.

2.  You will feel the desire to be the most successful/ best looking/ happiest person in the room, while every other person there is doing the exact same thing.  Warning:  If you are actually this person, no one will like you.

3.  Online profile pictures do a great justice to the aging process.  In person, these people will look older.  You will look older.  We will all look like the sleep deprived version of our former self.

4.  Old friends will continue to be a warm place to land.  Decades will melt, and you will feel home.

5.  Someone will have died.  Maybe several someones.  Face this and grieve, it's only going to get worse the older we get.

6.  You will experience a large growth in your facebook friends.

7.  You will tell someone you liked them in high school.  In return, someone will tell you they liked you in high school.  Mulligan, anyone??

8.  If you are lucky, someone will say you became hot.  In return, you will say "...what do you mean became??"

Things I love #1

Music.  Not a type of music, not a certain song.  Just music.

Music is like a hallmark card for your soul.  It speaks the words you are looking for.  Impacts the meaning behind them with a simple note change in a riff.

Describing how you feel, how you wish you felt, how you've never felt.  Inspires, motivates, saddens...

My children would never let me post this without mentioning my favorite band.  The one that gets me through everything... Greenday.  Ya, it works for me.

3-1-1

My son's football team delivers the drama.  Their low scoring, high anticipation games certainly keep me on the edge of my seat.  Sure, I would love them to blow out every team, but the intensity of their game is entertaining.  Suspenseful.  Sometimes an all out thriller.

Their team specializes in ties, overtime, and an uneven share of the work.  And when they flub, boy do they ever.

But...I am so proud of these boys.  I've watched them become men, adjusting to team mentality, and building a strong community.

Saturday's game was a struggle, with a late touchdown.  With moments left, the other team tied it up.  Frustrating, as there should have been about four flags on the td for holding.  Seriously, where do they get these refs??

Our team recently added a new offense formation.  A handful of kids tried out for center on this formation.  My son won it.  Many of you question how my little guy could play center.  My answer:  flawlessly.  That boy can deliver the ball, and immediately take down anyone in his way.  So in overtime, my boy directed that ball, which made it's way to the one yard line.  Next play, victory.  I might be even happier than I was with D's early season fumble recovery.

Several weeks ago, my son had a heart wrenching 0-0 tie.  That was a long day.  With heavy hearts, the coaches got an email.  There should have been overtime.  Shouldn't these refs know this!?  Clearly, after the missed holding calls, I'm not surprised.

So now the team sits with a 3-1-1 record.  IF they had played that overtime, and IF they had won, they would be tied for second place and well positioned for the playoffs.  Oh, IF, you're killing me.  Now they're in fourth, and the next few games will be the most brutal yet.

Saturday, Mckenzie stadium.

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog."
Archie Griffen

Let's go Mustangs!