Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Death with dignity

So here's a new one:
What do you say to a friend when their parent has passed from a planned death with medication?  The death with dignity thing...

I saw her last week and gave her encouragement, offered support however she needs it, and hugged her lots.  Then today, the planned day, I sent her a message.  It took me a long time to write it.  I wrote, erased. Wrote, erased.  Wrote, thought about it, and erased.

I didn't really know what to say.

Death is a hard thing.  I've always contimplated which is better, which is worse.  When someone dies unexpectedly, it throws your whole world.  All the things you didn't get to say.  All the things you have to do.  All the changes that will come.

A long, drawn out death is heartbreaking.  Affairs are in order, and you've said all those things you need to say. have to wait and suffer slowly.  You may be watching someone you love suffer slowly.  You feel conflicting thoughts of just wanting it to end and praying for it to last.

Death with dignity.  It's actually the ideal situation.  Affairs are in order and you are prepared.  You've said all the things you need to say.  There is no lengthy suffering.

So why is this so hard to digest?

How do you have the strength to hold someone close and let them go?  By their choice.
How do you have the courage not to yell "stop!" in the middle of it?

Death sucks.  Death is inevitable.

Might be time to remind everyone I love them.  Just in case.

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