Saturday, October 29, 2011

Lordy, lordy, look who's forty

With my husband's birthday on the horizon, I decided to start planning the event.  I perused dance clubs in Portland to find a venue.  

I click on a five-star club that, according to Yelp, ranked number two in the area!  Ron Jeremy's Club Sesso.
My first thought:  I wouldn't set foot in a place associated with Ron Jeremy.  But, then again, who was I to judge something I knew nothing about.

Ron Jeremy's Club Sesso is labeled as an adult club.  Well, duh.  Kids can't go to clubs, right?  WRONG!  It was adult club.  The first revue stated how lovely the place was because they clean and sanitize the beds between people.  You can't even imagine my curiosity and horror when I continued reading and spotted the word orgy bar.  This alleged orgy bar was described as "pretty lame" because when they visited, it was just one couple going at it, with a bunch of young guys watching.  I blushed just reading that.

Oh... and you can't just go there.  You have to buy a membership.  One man that loves date nights with his wife said "money well spent!  Where else can you get a mixed drink, steak dinner, shower, and a good f*** with your wife for that price!?"  Wow... that's romantic!

So I've settled on Lola's, at the Crystal ballroom.  80's night.  I'm planning to wear a "frankie say relax" t shirt and ordering sliders from the happy hour menu at Ringlers.

Not just because I'm scared to death of the other place.  Not just because I'm afraid of the face my friends would make if I invited them there.'s because I don't want to know how many of my friends already have a membership!!


  1. Greg once sent me a list of dance places to choose from and Sesso made the list. Of course, Greg didn't know what it was, but at first I thought: He wants to go where? For real? Oy vey. It was a funny google search.